marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
