Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
