Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
