Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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