im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
