why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
