okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
