No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
