Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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