you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
