is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my poor anus
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
