I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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