I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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