I wish i was in the wii world.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize