Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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