it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize