But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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