one two three fourrrrnication!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
