So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize