I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
