i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize