It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
