Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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