I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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