Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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