Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's never too late to be topless.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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