My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
