Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
