It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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