after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Randomize
