i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
