the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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