I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize