So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
