Dual....:-)
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
