dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
