So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
