Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
