Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize