Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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