so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
