my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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