his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have aggressive nipples.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
