Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
