So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
