Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
