so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
