At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
