if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
