I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize