"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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