I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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