Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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