I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
