There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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