Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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