my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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