I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
