it hurts more in the daytime
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just puked most of my soul out..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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