these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
