I wannas sexs uuuuu
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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