i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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