i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
