you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
