if you like me you must not know who I am
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
