Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
