Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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