First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Randomize
