Kiss
Puke
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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