Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
