I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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