Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can I color on your dick again?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
